:( so now what?

Well, all the teaching positions have been filled, and not by me... which begs the question... what does one do after having been so focused on a thing, training for it, hoping and praying for it, and then being denied that thing?  Well, if you're psycho and unbalanced, I imagine that you do all manner of not okay sorts of things, and while I may very occasionally entertain such notions (really, who doesn't from time to time?) I'm certainly not the type to do them.

But the question still remains: what the hell do I do now... See, I'm broke... I have to teach as many classes as I do each session (more than the full-timers) just to make ends meet... and now I'm facing the necessity of a new car... a new computer... the large-ish hole in my kitchen ceiling (okay, not really a hole, but an unsightly mess all the same...) the scary downstairs bathroom... you know, all the stuff that adult-type people need to take care of.. Only, there's no extra fundage.... I'm in no danger of losing my home, as I know a lot of people are, so yes, I know that in that respect I'm blessed and I should just shut the hell up... But I feel a bit betrayed... I mean, I've been an adjunct for 10 years, and I love teaching... But I'm not sure I can keep doing it (not because they don't want me there, but because I'm in my mid-30s now, and I'm feeling the need for a bit more stability...)  So what do I do now?

Where's that Prince Charming Disney promised me as a kid?  I could really use him right about now...

Okay, yes I know, I am a strong, independent woman, a feminist, and I need no man (on offense guys! I do like you, and you are handy to have around. :)) but I will be the first to admit--I suck at the whole money thing... I just don't get it...

So, I need a plan.  I'm sure I'll come up with a plan, I just hope I come up with a plan that allows me to sleep (the 8-class session comes to mind as a HUGE mistake.  but it was fun!) I've been doing research, pondering the various tracks I could take starting with an MA in English Literature.  You know what I've discovered?  I'm qualified to teach... and do research... and that's something I'm good at... so, you know, surely there's something out there.  I actually have two friends both looking into getting their paralegal certifications, and I have a cousin who's a paralegal, so I'm thinking I might pick her brain.  Because as I understand it, paralegals, in addition to their other duties, do research... but then there's that whole office thing... gives me the heebie-jeebies...

And I'm applying to a few online colleges and tutoring companies. That should at least take the edge off the financial situation... and who knows, maybe the jewelry thing will really take off!  (I have a new shop name, btw--Definitive Designs by R.Wilson... kinda cool, huh?  A friend came up with it!)  I'm still making earrings and bracelets, I'm working on some lanyard ideas, and I just bought some polymer clay!  I can't wait to play!!!! (ooh! I rhymed!  maybe I'll be a poet!  okay yeah, not really... :))

So I'll keep you posted.  Thanks for reading my wallow in self-pity.  I promise I'll get it over it soon....

RLW